Whatever, fine. I'll admit it without throwing up in my mouth. Starting today, I actually get a whole week off to escape the daily grind and head down to Wauseon, Ohio, for Midwest GeoBash.

Shocking as it might be to my usual cynical black void of a soul, I am genuinely stoked. Seven days of traipsing through the woods, hunting for hidden ammo cans, and—dare I say it—actually hanging out with my favorite people. Turns out getting away from the real world to stare at GPS coordinates with the crew is the closest thing to a religious experience I'll ever sign up for. Whatever. Let the games begin.